Willow
by SHOW ME THE LURV
Summary: Jade visits an old friend, and laments the time they wasted.


Willow

Jade's feet knew which way to go. The heels of her boots clacked loudly against the cobblestone road surrounded by gravestones. A chill autumn breeze swayed the tendrils of bronze hair framing her face. The wind moved the decorative trees, forcing them to gently shush the dead to silence.

She turned off the paved street onto a dirt path. Her destination was fairly far, through a mausoleum and past a monolith, but eventually, she stopped in front of a bland marker. A nearby willow waved hello again, as did the petals of the lilies left on the freshly dug dirt. The plain gray granite still hadn't been engraved yet, but she knew whose body laid there.

She took a deep breath, her diaphragm expanding wide, her hands tightened to determined fists, her eyes closing for extra strength. She began.

"Darling, when was the last time we just shot the breeze? When was the last time I really told you how I felt? I've been beating around the bush, telling you all these crazy stories and adventure I've been having, but we both refuse to look deeper. I can't get past that initial fear of hurting you." She stopped and thought. "No, no that's wrong. I did try to tell you once, but you brushed me off, saying that I should be grateful for what I have. I mean, you're right, but at the same time, it feels like you're telling me to just forget about how I feel because at least I'm better off that you. That's what you were saying. It was all an indirect pity party for your sad, sorry ass."

No, that wasn't how she wanted it to come out. Another breath to steady her, reground herself. It was merely a false start. She began again.

"I miss you. I remember when I used to drive to your house every weekend, even when you weren't there or said I couldn't come because you had so much homework to do. I remember the nights we'd stay up late, talking about useless stuff like anime or video games or Disney. But when I talk to you now, it's like you're not listening. It's selfish, but I'm sad for me, not you. I'm sad that I lost you. It's like, as long as you're fine, I'm fine. But God damn it you're not. So I'm not. You know?"

She choked on her own voice. She was no longer in control, and just as the willow let the current move it, she allowed her heart to lead the way.

"What about me? Maybe I'm not happy either. I'm tired of avoiding the issue. Tough for you that you're all sad, but you know what? That's your own fault. And you've said as much yourself. You've admitted that you're a defective human being. Well now I'm agreeing with you. You are a worthless little worm, and you didn't deserve to live. I'm glad you didn't survive the mess you made for yourself. You've made my life a living hell with this rollercoaster of emotions. You make me feel so…so…ugh!" She threw her arms up in frustration. Yes, that was it: frustration.

"You know what? I'm done. I'm done with your shit. I'm leaving." She turned her back on the gravestone. She took one step, then two. Her body trembled. Her breathe came out in ragged gasps. Her shoulders shook violently. Sobs escaped from her closed throat as she fell to her knees. Her torso collapsed into itself, falling over her legs.

"Why did you abandon me?" she whispered to the dirt, tears dripping from her red eyes turning it to mud.

"I didn't," a breathy voice was heard softly on the wind. Behind Jade was a short, solemn looking teenager perched precariously on her friend's headstone. But experience told her that, not her eyes.

Without looking up, Jade responded, "Of course you did asshole. Just because you're here now doesn't mean you're not still dead. We've gone over this way too many times."

"But I don't understand. Isn't that all that matters? That I'm with you, no matter what?" The girl looked worried, her almond eyes slightly squinted and the shape of her eyebrows inverted.

"It's not the same. I can't hug you, or hold you, or give you things. Physical contact, darling; I need it. And you don't even know what it is anymore."

The girl scoffed and shook her head. "Well that's not exactly true. I still know what it is; I just can't do anything about it. And it's not like that's something I can control." She gave an exasperated sigh. "Look, I'm already pushing my limits trying to stay visible for you. Isn't that enough?"

"No."

"No?" The girl's upper lip curled.

"No."

"Well then. I guess that's that." She pouted and crossed her arms.

"Fine."

"Okay then." Neither moved. The girl glared at Jade's back, and Jade glared at the earth.

"So go! Get out of here already!" Jade shouted, frightening her friend.

The slight breeze picked up its speed until a tiny whirlwind had been started. The trees rustled, applauding with their many appendages in their own special way. Leaves and branches flew everywhere. Jade's hair whipped around harshly, slapping her and leaving a sharp sting. She covered her face with the crook of her arm, shielding her precious visage from harm. There were only a few seconds of chaos, though, until the world was calm once more. Only the chill autumn breeze remained.

When Jade finally looked back at her friend's grave, she saw that there was no longer anyone sitting on the fresh stone. She was alone. Her red eyes leaked more saline drops of liquid. The willow shushed her to silence.


End file.
